


Jungle

by aceflowerchild



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Its Alex, M/M, Past Tense, Songfic, Trans Male Character, alex lies at some point and says that hes from kentucky, but to be fair john was asking questions too early in the friendship, he hadn't unlocked alex's Tragic Backstory yet, im sorry, in that it is based on a song, this took me literally months to write and i dont know why, what are tags lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-15 11:28:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9233195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aceflowerchild/pseuds/aceflowerchild
Summary: "New York City is a Jungle out there."





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is based upon a song called 'jungle' (hence the fic's title) by jon bellion. I really liked it and felt like a lot of those things would be stuff that John says to Alex, trying to guide him through life in nyc or w/e. you can listen to the song on youtube [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfujX1Yyw6o) I do recommend it. Hope you enjoy!

John tapped his foot impatiently and checked his watch again. Where was this Hamilton kid? He was supposed to be there a half an hour ago.

Suddenly, someone- who had run over to him judging on their heavy breathing- tapped him on the shoulder. John turned, then looked up into a face with dark eyes, surrounded by messy hair that had escaped a bun at the top of his head.

"Are you John Laurens?" John started as he realized that he was being asked a question.

"Uh. Um." John couldn't find the words, because holy fuck this guy was _hot_. He settled for nodding.

The man in front of him smiled and held out a hand. "Alexander Hamilton. You can call me Alex."

John took the proffered hand and shook it slowly. "H-hi. Um. Car's this way. You took longer than I thought." What John did not say was that Alex was well worth the wait.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Alex said, but he gave no explanation.

"Do you need to stop by baggage claim?" John asked as they approached it.

"Uh, no." Alex gestured to the bag slug across his shoulder. "This is all I've got."

John thought for a moment, trying to figure what Alex meant by that, before shrugging it off and continuing on to the car. Alex happily followed him out of the airport and to the parking garage across the street. Although 'across the street' was much longer than one might think, given how huge the airport parking lot was.

The ride back to John's apartment- which John realized he'd be _sharing_ now- was mostly silent, except for a short exchange that began with John asking "So you're from Kentucky, huh?" remembering that that was where it was said the plane was coming from.

"Huh? Oh! Oh yeah. Kentucky."

John snorted. "I give you three days before you wanna go back. Maybe. If you're lucky," John added as an afterthought.

Alex shook his head and laughed. "Not a chance Laurens."

John laughed again as well. He already felt like he'd known Alex for a lifetime.

* * *

 

John opened his front door and said, “Well… this is home.”

Alex looked around the living room in wonderment. “This is awesome!” He threw himself, face first, onto the couch and said, voice muffled, “It even _smells_ homey.”

John shook his head and smiled. This guy was something else.

* * *

 

They were going for a walk around the neighborhood, John showing Alex which stores were good, and which ones to avoid if he didn’t want to get ripped off or offered unsolicited drugs.

Alex stopped for a moment. John looked back at him and furrowed his brows. They were both silent and Alex looked down at his shoes in apparent embarrassment. Then, looking up, he blurted out, “Is Wall Street an actual street?”

John didn’t answer at first, shocked that that was all it was and that it wasn’t anything worse. After a moment however, once John had gotten over his initial shock, he started laughing, making Alex look offended.

“No, dude, dude, it’s just that, I thought it was something _bad_! And all you wanted to know… was if Wall Street… was a real street!” John wheezed out inbetween laughs. “That is just so fucking funny to me! But yeah. It-it’s an actual street.” John wiped his eyes and continued forward.

“Although, those Wall Street guys, I swear they can _smell_ you. Whether you’re poor or rich, American or an immigrant, or whatever else, they know, and they know just how to get exactly what they want from you. And you,” he pointed to Alex, “they’ll know at a glance that you aren’t from here.”

“They- they will?” Alex somehow managed to look up at John, despite being taller –maybe it was the slouching –with wide eyes, and god, he was _so cute_.

John nodded. “Yep. And they’ll use that to their advantage. They’d’ve got me if I hadn’t’ve had my friends, Lafayette and Hercules. Speaking of them, I haven’t seen them in a while. And they live nearby… Let’s go pay them a visit!”

* * *

 

It had only been about 2 weeks before Alex saw John in a fight.

John had already been unusually angry that day, and then, while he and Alex were walking to the store down the street from their apartment, someone grabbed Alex and started taking him back the way they’d come.

John readjusted his jacket and ran after the two, not pausing even to apologize for the people he ran into or the toes he stepped on.

Once he caught up to the guy, John pulled him back and punched him in the face before throwing him to the ground. Before he could get back up, John got on top of him and started landing blow after blow, bloodying the guy’s face and bruising his own knuckles, until someone grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him off. John turned around ready to fight them, too, when he saw who it was.

Alex.

He looked terrified, letting John go as soon as he was sure he wouldn’t start wailing on the now unconscious man on the sidewalk, and backed up several paces.

“Alexander…” John began, not knowing how he would finish the sentence, or even remotely what he wanted to say. He hesitantly reached out a hand, but Alex just flinched and backed up further. “Alex, please! I… I’m trying to take care of you!” John yelled, tears starting to form in his eyes. Alex shook his head and ran, back to the apartment. At least John hoped he was. John really, _really_ hoped he was.

Rather than chase after him, John stayed where he was, next to the unconscious man by his feet, unsure of what to do with either himself or the man.

“I need to talk to Lafayette,” he muttered to himself.

* * *

 

John slowly opened the door to the apartment some hours later, trying to remember Laf and Mulligan’s advice.

“He is scared John. You can be quite fearsome in a fight,” Laf had gently explained.

“Just, maybe try to wait a few hours, and then approach him gently,” Hercules added.

“Right. Gently.”

John had spent a few hours waiting at Laf and Herc’s place, trying not to worry, but finding that to be increasingly difficult. When he finally decided that he couldn’t wait any longer, he stood and said goodbye to his friends.

“Bye John! Good luck!”

Now John was back in his own apartment, the one he shared with Alex.

“I’m home!” he called out, hoping for, but not expecting, an answer. He didn’t get one.

John sighed and made his to the room he and Alex shared. It was a good thing that they didn’t also share a bed though, because John was sure that he would spontaneously combust on a nightly basis if they did.

“ _He’s too attractive,_ ” John thought, then shook his head, trying to clear it. ‘ _C’mon, he’s your roommate, and not only that, he’s scared of you! Don’t go making things awkward._ ’

John hesitated before turning the knob of the door to their room, and then decided to knock instead. Alex answered a moment later, wearing a baggy sweater and hunching over. His eyes widened a fraction, and John thought for a moment that Alex was going to shut the door on him, but, to John’s surprise, he stepped aside and let John in, closing the door behind him.

They seated themselves on their own beds, on opposite sides of the room. For a while, neither of them spoke.

Then John, clearing his throat, broke the silence.

“I uh… I’m sorry. For earlier. Scaring you, I mean.”

Alex’s eyes widened. “Oh. Yeah. Okay.” He kept his gaze down as he spoke. John looked down at his hands, his bruised knuckles standing out, and sighed.

“I really am. I just –I panicked.”

Alex scoffed. “I’ll say. And if you were scared, Imagine how _I_ felt.” His face became more serious then, and he continued. “And you looked so angry…”

“I would never hurt you Alex,” John rushed to say. And then, in a quieter voice, “Please don’t be scared of me.”

He heard Alex get off of his bed, but didn’t look up until he felt the weight of Alex making his bed dip beside him.

Alex, now next to him, put an arm around John’s shoulders. “I don’t know if it’ll be the same, but, I think I can try.”

* * *

 

John and Alex were sitting in the living room a few months later, John channel surfing and Alex typing furiously. John looked over to where the other man sat. Alex was staring at the screen, brows furrowed, eyes focused, and hair everywhere. He was beautiful.

“You’re so pretty. _Too_ pretty,” John said without thinking.

Alex looked up, startled out of his work frenzy, and if John was not mistaken, his cheeks were darkening with a blush. “Oh. Uh. Thanks, but, please don’t call me that.”

John cocked a brow. “What? Pretty?”

Alex nodded vigorously. “Yeah. That. It uh… brings back bad times.”

“Oh.” John wasn’t really sure what else to say. “Um, sorry,” he added a few moments later, but Alex was already back in his concentration zone.

John flipped channels for a few more minutes, but he wasn’t paying any attention to what was coming up across the screen; he was just pushing the ‘channel up’ button for something to do. Then he turned to Alex and spoke up again, “Look, Alex, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. We can talk about it if y-”

“It’s _fine_ John. Don’t worry about it,” Alex interrupted, not looking up from his laptop screen, barely even pausing his fingers before they were flying across the keyboard once more.

 

Later that night, while John was half asleep, he heard Alex get up from his bed. He didn’t think much of this, except that Alex probably just needed to pee, until he felt his shoulder being shaken gently.

“John. Psst, John,” Alex whispered harshly. “Are you awake?”

John groaned and groggily sat up. “Barely. What’s up?”

“Oh! I hadn’t realized you were asleep, I’m so sorry, it can wait until morning, really-”

“Alex,” John said calmly, cutting Alex off. “It’s okay. I wasn’t asleep, and even if I was, I’m awake now, so might as well say whatever it is you wanted to say.”

Alex chewed his lower lip. “Okay.”

“Do you wanna sit?” John asked.

Alex hesitated for a moment before he nodded and sat in the spot previously occupied by John’s feet and took a few deep breaths before starting. “It’s about… earlier. The whole ‘pretty’ thing.

“I guess there’s really only one reason why I don’t like it. I mean, when I’m called pretty. I don’t care if other people like being called pretty, I don’t control them, _I_ just don’t like being called pretty. And I mean, I’ll call other people pretty, but that doesn’t mean that _I_ like being called pretty. But anyway,” Alex took a huge breath before continuing. “Like I said. Really only one reason. Because, y’know, pretty is usually connotated with like, girls, and femininity, and stuff.”

“Yeah, but that’s not how-” John protested, but Alex cut him off before he could finish by holding up a hand.

“I know that’s not how you meant it John. I just really don’t like being associated with that kind of stuff because… well, because I’m trans, and I know it’s not like, _actually_ a big deal or whatever, but it is to me, and it feels so stupid, because there are trans guys who don’t even transition at all, but I’m just not one of them and-”

“Alex. Alex you’re rambling. Please, calm down a little? Deep breaths. There you go.”

“Sorry. Sorry, it’s just- it’s not easy to tell people. I’m always so afraid that they’ll judge me.”

“It’s fine. I mean, I may not know exactly how you feel, but I can empathize. And I won’t call you pretty anymore if you don’t want me to, but at the same time, try to remember that that doesn’t mean that you aren’t a guy. Okay?”

Alex took another deep breath. “Okay. Thank you.”

“Anytime. Only… I’m kinda tired right now? So if we could go to sleep, that’d be great.”

“Oh! Oh yeah, of course. Goodnight John,” Alex said, scrambling off of John’s bed and over to his own.

“Goodnight.”

* * *

 

“I’m going to the bathroom!” John yelled out. Alex nodded, but John wasn’t sure if that was because he had heard and he was acknowledging the statement, or if he was just nodding along to the music. Either way, John pushed his way through the crowd, nodding at a few familiar faces that he couldn’t quite place names to, heading towards the bathroom.

It was Alex’s first time to a nightclub, and he seemed to be having a good time, which John prided himself on.

The bathroom was quiet and brightly lit. John breathed through his mouth; it may have looked clean, but it was still a public bathroom and it sure as hell smelled like one. John knew from experience. In fact, it probably smelled worse because people were throwing up in there on a nightly basis.

He splashed some water on his face and closed his eyes, drinking in the silence. He stayed for a moment longer before heading back out to where he’d left Alex. However, when he got there, Alex was gone. John looked around, getting panicked, and then saw him being led away by two conventionally attractive women that John was sure he’d be drooling over if he weren’t gay as hell.

John pushed his way through the crowd of dancing people toward the three of them.

“Alex! Hey!” John yelled, once he felt he was close enough to be heard. Alex looked around for the source of the voice and grinned once he’d  spotted John.

“Hey!”

“Where are you going?” John asked, catching up to Alex and the two woman who had now stopped.

“We’re getting coke!” Alex said, way too happily to know what that actually meant.

John looked at the two women who’d been leading Alex away. Models. Of course. “What the fuck? What is wrong with you guys?”

“Listen, buddy, we only offered. Your _friend_ over here is the one who accepted,” the model on the right said.

“ _Bullshit_. You had to have had at least an _inkling_ that he had no idea what you were really talking about,” John spat out. “Listen, if you’re gonna do that stuff, go ahead, I don’t care. But don’t drag other people into your mess. C’mon Alex. we’re going home.” John grabbed Alex’s hand and led him to the entrance.

“But I wanted to get a coke,” Alex complained as they walked.

Once they got outside into the quiet night, John said, “We can stop by the corner store or something on the way home and get you a 2-liter if you’d like. But listen, let’s just say, that these models are _not_ talking about soda when they’re offering you coke.”

Alex cocked his head to the side in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Drugs, Alex. They’re talking about cocaine.”

Alex’s eyes widened in shock. “Oh.”

“Yeah. I don’t wanna see you getting mixed up in that stuff. It’s… it’s hard to get out of.” John’s voice got quiet at the end of the sentence. “I’m more experienced in that area than I’d care to admit. Let’s go get you that soda.”

“Can we get Pepsi instead? I only settled for coke because that’s what they were offering, but I like Pepsi better.”

“Sure thing.”

As they walked, bumping shoulders and still holding hands from when John had grabbed Alex in the club (and John was definitely not internally ecstatic about this, _he was not_ ), Alex asked, “So… while we’re on the topic of things I don’t know… What is blow?”

 _He looks inappropriately cute asking that, what the fuck_ , John did not say. What he _did_ say was, “It’s another name for crack.” Instead of looking Alex in the eye, John focused on one of many, _many_ bits of glitter on his face. “They teach you anything out there in Kentucky?”

Alex looked confused for a minute and then his eyes widened in obvious realization. “Oh. Well, y’see John, about the whole… ‘Kentucky’ thing. I’m not actually from Kentucky.”

“What? But… that’s where your plane came from. I even _asked_ you about it! You said you were!” John didn’t want to, but he let go of Alex’s hand and threw his own up in the air in indignation.

“I know, I know! But we had just met, and I didn’t want to tell you where I was _actually_ from because- because- I thought you’d look down on me! Like I’m stupid or worthless, like everybody else does!” Alex’s bottom lip quivered and he looked seconds away from crying.

John softened. “Alex, I could never think that of you. Why would you think that? I’m sure that where you’re from can’t be _that_ bad.”

“I’m from the Caribbean. From a tiny town where all of the money of every person combined probably couldn’t build _half_ of one of these skyscrapers here in NYC. And after mom died…” Alex sighed. “We had nowhere to go, me and my brother. We were _abandoned_ , John. And everyone always looked down on us and pitied us and I don’t want that from you. I wanted to start over. That was the whole purpose of coming to America, to _New York_! Can’t you understand that?”

John sighed heavily. “Yeah. But… I don’t know, I just… I feel like I don’t _know_ you now. I mean if you lied to me about something as insignificant as _this_ , then… what else could you be lying about? I don’t know. I don’t actually think you’ve been lying to me this whole time, just… I don’t know, anxiety, I guess? Just- don’t worry about it. I don’t hate you,” John assured. Alex sighed in relief.

“Okay. That’s good. That’s something. And, I suppose I should apologize for lying to you about that this whole time.”

“Apology accepted.”

* * *

 

They were at Times Square for New Year’s at Alex’s insistence. It was actually the first time John had been, despite his many years living in New York. He and Alex had also managed to get everyone else to come along, even Burr, as anti-social and reclusive as he was.

“Y’know, this city is kind of like a jungle,” John mused out loud.

Alex was the only one who paid him any attention. “Really? How so?” He asked, head cocked to the side.

“I mean, I know there’s no woods or anything, but it’s still dangerous. Actually, the buildings are kind of like our trees. Tall, close together, and everywhere. But this city is dangerous, and if you don’t know the right vines to swing on, you could get really fucked up.”

“Huh. I guess so. I’d never thought about it like that,” Alex said, nodding his head.

“Luckily, you’ve got me, a big strong lion, to protect you,” John said, proudly pounding his chest with his fist.

“Alex laughed and said, “Shut up,” as he playfully pushed John’s arm. “You’re a full three inches shorter than I am!”

“Guys, stop flirting!” Maria’s voice cut in. “The ball’s about to drop!”

“We weren’t- I mean- Really!” John spluttered. Maria simply rolled her eyes.

“8… 7… 6… 5… 4… 3… 2… 1! Happy New Year!” shouted everyone in the square, and probably all along the East Coast. John turned and looked up at Alex. “Kiss me?” Alex’s eyes went wide and John rushed to explain himself, or make excuses, whichever word you chose to use, his words stumbling over each other in their rush to get out. “I only meant that, y’know, a New Year’s kiss is kind of a tradition, right? Like, it doesn’t have to _mean_ anything, like last year, for example, I kissed _Eliza-_ ” his words were cut off by Alex’s lips on his own, and John practically melted. The fireworks that he felt, they weren’t just the ones being set off into the air above them.

“It’s about time!” Angelica shouted. John waved her off and broke from the kiss.

“I really like you, John. Do you maybe wanna try this thing out?” Alex asked, shifting from foot to foot.

John leaned up and kissed Alex again, gently. “Yeah. I really do.”

Alex grinned and said again, so only John could hear, “Happy New Year,” and then they were kissing again.

**Author's Note:**

> just a reminder (as always) that kudos and comments are always appreciated, and if you want to yell at me or yell with me, both my main blog [hckin-nerd](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/hckin-nerd) and my voltron blog, [space-nigel-thornberry](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/space-nigel-thornberry) are good places to reach me. Seeya!


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